I forget to post or just don't think about it! it's been over 2 years since my last post!
I came across AuDHD a few weeks ago - as I understand it, it's ADHD with Autism and I think I am slightly autistic, but mainly ADHD!
In work they have transferred me to a different department (at my request) in my retail job. I had just come back from looking after an elderly parent who had been going through cancer treatment - I'd had 15 weeks off work! On my first or maybe second day back one of the members of staff criticised me and I flew off the deep end (self control is lacking if I'm feeling depressed, which I was). As I hadn't been trained to use the equipment it was rather unfair. Today I looked at the company's team page and there is glowing praise and adoration for someone else who is new there!
With AuDHD, because of feeling inadequate and I was bullied in school for being different (not sure if that's the case with every child who has AuDHD), suffering from depression I felt really hurt and then it came to me - I'm not in work to get patted on the back, I'm there to do a job and it doesn't matter if I don't get praise - I'm strange so people think I'm odd anyway! "Just go there and do your job," I thought! It doesn't matter if I get praise or not - so long as I get paid! 😂 It's a company where if your face fits, you do well - if you're one of the 'boys' (although I'm female) you're in with a chance of getting a prize. As I type it still kind of hurts because I'm thinking of someone else in work who suffers from depression and she's the loveliest, kindest person you could meet, yet she never gets praise and she's so helpful with the customers and other staff.
I have to admit that because of my childhood and trying my hardest at various competitions etc but never quite getting there - never winning prizes, I hate competitions where 'the best' one wins because I'm sure everybody has tried their hardest, it's the same in work - if your face fits...
I do tend to be blunt though as well, so I knock heads with the managers all the time therefore my face will never fit!
If anybody reads this (does anybody read my blog?) and you have AuDHD or another 'special need' don't despair if you don't get praise or adoration for jobs or if you enter competitions, exams etc and you don't quite 'get there' - we shouldn't be subject or build our lives around the praise of others, so long as we've tried, that's the main thing, and if others don't like it oh well, move on!
OK I've waffled on quite a bit and I won't promise anything but hopefully I'll post more often on here and if people read it and find it helpful, that's great!
Have a great day.
