Not exactly a topic about weight loss (which this blog was originally set up for) but it's something which is upon my heart, because indirectly there is a narcissist in my life and there could be one in yours too.
For many years my family has had contact with a narcissist who married into the family (it's not my husband), in the beginning I didn't know they were because I'd never come across it before, I can't remember when I found out about NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).
There were times of friendliness, kindness and contact, but say or do the wrong thing and that's it, gaslighting and no contact! Their friendliness etc was to suit only themselves. They would do something kind, then if they couldn't get their own way at a later date or if I opposed them, they would throw it back - "I was kind to you!" "I bought you... Or paid for..." The kindness wasn't out of love for my family, it was so they could hold us to ransom at a later date.
When dealing with a narcissist it's like being on an emotional rollercoaster, mental/emotional gymnastics. They are so good at manipulation and control, you think you're the problem, but in fact with their lies, control and gaslighting - you're not the problem but the narcissist is. Try telling them they're the problem though and that's it, the fall out is an emotional version of a nuclear fallout. Round and around it goes. You can't reason with them; you can't argue with them; they're right, you're wrong. They cannot see past their own ego.
WHAT IS A NARCISSIST? HOW CAN YOU KNOW?
I found this online - 9 signs of a narcissist (the acronym SPECIAL ME is an easy way to remember them)
Sense of self-importance
Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success
Entitled
Can only be around people who are important or special
Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain
Arrogant
Lack empathy
Must be admired
Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them
What can you do about it? I'm not an expert, although I've encountered somebody with it, tbh I'm only learning myself but:
I've read a book by Simon Crompton called: All About Me: Loving a Narcissist - I found it very helpful.
I've watched videos on YouTube which I have found very useful on understanding Narcissists and dealing with them. One particular channel I've found helpful is a lady called Kris Reese - she is a Christian so her videos do contain Christian content. There are many others on there which are helpful.
At the moment I'm reading a book by Kris Reese called: Breaking a Narcissist's Grip
I'm not on commission from either of these people 😊
If you think you're in a relationship with a narcissist, I'd recommend you talk to a professional counsellor about it because they can leave you feeling confused, hurt, angry, unsure of yourself etc. they are toxic people who only like to control others and who absolutely love themselves.
Take care of yourselves
