In 2019 I lost over 2 stone (28lb) in weight, now in 2021 I've gained quite a bit back!🤨
Let's go back a bit.
In 2016 I was 12 stone 13lb (82.10Kg/181lb) when my son left home to go to University. In the first year he wasn't home I lost 1 stone (6.35Kg/14lb) to get down to 11 stone 13lb (75.75Kg/ 167lb).
In 2019 I got to the point where I didn't want to be frump woman anymore so I went on a calorie controlled diet and got down to 9 stone 3lb (58.51Kg/129lb) - I thought, THIS IS IT, I'm not going to go over 9st 7lb. In 2020 I had a 50th birthday bash and ate for Britain - slowly my weight climbed, lockdown happened and despite working I started feeling low. I weighed today (9th May 2021) and I'm back up to 11st 0lb (69.85Kg/154lb) 😱. I have been having migraines, which doesn't help!
Depression is something which people who haven't suffered with it, haven't got a clue what it's all about 🤷♀️ and think it's easy just to "snap out of it" and those of us who have suffered with it, don't like talking about 🤐 BUT I believe (and have done for a fair few years now) that losing weight is about 90% (if not, more) psyche 🤯and 10% (if not, less) about the food itself.🌮🌭🥝🍊🍌
A lot of people probably start off dieting with enthusiasm and then get bored after a while, throwing in the towel and giving up. Others are focused and can lose weight with ease and keep it off.
When you're depressed, everything is exaggerated and it's not just feelings of hunger they need to worry about, it's feelings of inadequacy, failure, self image, hate towards self, feelings of ugliness. It doesn't matter how much you tell a depressed person they are beautiful, precious, worthy etc, it is hard for them to see it!
What is the answer? If you suffer from depression (for a start if you haven't seen a GP about it - go have a chat). Here are a few things which have helped in the past:
1. Recognise your limitations - remember that if you do suffer from depression, you may have days where you want to pig out on a few biscuits (it's crisps for me). When you're not feeling down - that's the time to have a back up plan for those depressed days.
2. If you're going out for a meal (Lockdowns dependant) and you know you're going to eat more than usual - plan for getting back on track. Embrace the fact you're going to be eating more that day/evening, but make sure the following day is planned out so that you can jump back in.
3. If you have had an unplanned binge (see point one), don't have a pity party (I know that suffering from depression can make this difficult), get straight up and brush yourself off (metaphorically speaking) and carry on.
4. Dump words like - I've failed, I'm useless, I'll never do it etc - using negative words/phrases will set you up for a negative reaction to the whole thing, it will drag you down more and then you will be more likely to binge and throw in the towel. You've NOT failed, You're NOT useless, You WILL do it - NONE of us are perfect, we have slip ups make mistakes etc, and we know we're not perfect, so why do we act as if we are when it comes to losing weight?
5. Don't think you can lose 5 stone (or however much) overnight - set realistic goals. Take each day as it comes and don't look beyond those days (unless you have a meal out planned, then just plan for that).
6. This has just come to mind and I haven't done this, but may do it - have a notebook with back up menus in it, for those times when you do binge or have a big meal out with friends - it's something you could write while your enthusiasm is there (usually at the beginning of your weight loss journey), then if you are feeling down about eating too much, reach for your notebook and there are some meal ideas laid out for you already and you won't have to think about it too much (I have found when I'm depressed, thinking is much more difficult)!
7. Throw away your excuses - I (you) ate too much, NOBODY forced me (you) to eat that packet of crisps/biscuits/bar of chocolate etc
Linked with number 7:
8. Take responsibility for your previous eating choices. Don't blame anybody else!
9. If a lot of your self image issues are due to bullying when you were a child (mine definitely are), then remember that it was in the past, kids can be mean. I was told by a girl in school that if she had a face like mine, she'd teach her a**e to talk - I came across a school photo which she was in, and she wasn't particularly pretty (neither am I, but still). Just remember, people say mean things to make themselves feel better and more than likely those who bully feel bad about themselves (or have an over inflated ego which nobody likes anyway).
These points are as much for me (if not more so) as they are for you, dear reader, hope this post helps!
Just remember - you are precious and so worthwhile.
